• I just want to say, from the bottom of my heart, with the utmost sincerity.. SUCK IT, LENO! He’s like the cicada of ruining late night tv. #
• if nobody EVER talked to me about sports again, it’d still be too damn soon. How ’bout them Idle Conversations, huh? HELLUVA SEASON. #
• Kudos to Conan for standing up for himself, AND considering what is “fair to Jimmy Fallon”. If only Leno thought of anyone but himself.. #



• TEAM CONAN! #teamconan (even though I watch Dave Letterman live every night possible & catch conan later) #
• Fantastic I’m with COCO image // RT @carynloveless: http://www.sirmikeofmitchell.com/imwithcoco/ #
• just did an interview for the fine people at CandidCareer.com – I hope I wasn’t too candid about my “career” telling wacky poop jokes. #
• Today, I gotta be honest: I’m not feelin’ you. I hope you get your shit together and shape up into an awesome Tonight, otherwise we’re thru. #
• Dick Ebersol has the balls to talk shiz about Conan O’Brien? Correct me if I’m wrong, but isn’t he the twat that ruined SNL from 1980-85? #
• just above my bedroom in the wall somewhere.. my house makes a noise like a hammer tapping a 2×4.. every 5 seconds or so off and on all day. #
• people say the noise is air in the hot water pipes, pipes about to burst, and/or Recurrent Spontaneous PsychoKinesis (gh-gh-gh-ghosts!) #
• I’m not sure which is worse: farty plumbing? slowly exploding house? or a mildly annoying poltergeist? #
• maybe I can get @JoeSouthards to bring his ghostbusters tricorder over and scan the house thetan level (or whatever). #

The Chadyterians who follow my career closely already know this, but people keep sending me messages asking when I was going to talk about it all, so I thought I might as well talk about it here: I did appear on Last Comic Standing this season and it was glorious. Critics have already hailed my appearance as groundbreaking comedic genius spiced with dramatic tension unparalleled in the world of entertainment. I have to say.. please, everybody, calm down.

This is all very flattering, but I think it’s important that we all remember that I’m just a man. A very funny, sexy man.. but remember: I put my pants on one leg at a time just like everyone else.. so the deification is really unnecessary and embarrassing. Let’s all try to keep things in perspective.

I forget.. many people outside of the Chadyterian faith come by occasionally to see what all the whoop dee doo (whoop-dee-doo!) is about, so maybe I should put the clip right here for the people who’ve had their heads under a rock and missed the non-stop media coverage about my recent NBC prime time debut. Enjoy.

YouTube: Chad Riden on Last Comic Standing

The emails I’ve been getting non-stop all week ARE right: the producers were very, very wise to just give audiences a small, potent glimpse of my comedic prowess and tangible, raw, sexual power. I think the great people behind Nashville’s Premier Authority On All Things Comedy, NashvilleStandUp.com (which, upon first glance seems like a wonderful website. I’ve bookmarked it, and will return there soon to stay abreast of the local scene that helped launch my career. I don’t blame you if you do the same.) said it best when they called the clip “the funniest second of video on YouTube.” Thank you, kind sirs.

While I appreciate all of this attention, I just want to point out that I’m really just a kid trying to have some fun.. and the real champions of the night were all of the Chad Riden Fans out there – you guys are the reason I do what I do.. and without you, it just wouldn’t be the same. I hope to see all of you out at all the live shows and public appearances. Thanks again for all of your support. May Megatheos bless us all, preferably via the rocket-like continued success of my comedy career.

Hola, true believers! It’s me, your pal Chad Riden (America’s Favorite Comedian of All Time) with a little update about comedy crap and real life crap and everything in between. There has been so much going on, I barely know where to start. Maybe I should start at the beginning? (I’m told that’s a very good place to start.)

No, I’m going to start at the end: I’ve got shows coming up! Tonight at Zanies, Tomorrow on NBC’s Last Comic Standing (maybe) and live at Jesse Zane’s.. Next week at Zanies a few more times. Skip to the bottom of this for more details.

REAL LIFE CRAP UPDATES:

It has been a wonderful spring for me. It’s about this time every year when my neighbors and I begin plotting to overthrow the neighborhood association.. it really needs to be done and I’m just the man to do it. THE REVOLUTION WILL NOT BE TELEVISED!

I spent a week in Hollywood, where I…
- saw maria bamford, orny adams, jim gaffigan, godfrey, daryl wright @ the improv.
- filmed gang fight scenes for a movie trailer
- got to meet my heroes Sergio Aragones and Mark Evanier and brush into Tom Kenny.
- had lunch at The Magic Castle. Their lunch menu called me “America’s most famous unknown stand-up comedian” which made me very happy.
- saw a dog w/ a bag of his crap tied to his collar

I had a lot of fun, but the dog crap thing was really the highlight. When I got back to Nashville’s airport, I saw an 80 year old man pimpin a brand new Members Only jacket, which made me smile and then cry.

Sadness! Some idiot hit / flipped / totaled my jeep. Laura and Callia are bruised but ok. The fault goes to a 77-year-old woman pulling out of her driveway onto Andrew Jackson Parkway who “hit the gas instead of the brake”. Classic. Way too old to drive.. she plowed thru three cars and went across the grass median before she stopped. It’s hard to be mad at an old woman, though.. she was just horrified at what she had done. It puts things into perspective, too. Everybody’s safe and the Jeep can be replaced. Plus, I feel like a moron when I hit the windshield wiper instead of the turn signal.. imagine this woman’s embarrassment and guilt. Still, get off the friggin’ road, oldie! The worst part was I sprinted two whole blocks from the road block to the wreckage to get to my family.. and my body was SORE as it could be for the next four days. Exercise is the worst possible thing you could do to your body.

OH! I almost forgot. This is the biggest announcement ever:

ChadRiden 3G – the super-cool, faster, awesomer version of me will be available July 11th worldwide. Get in line, now! Every year I watch Steve Jobs’ keynote presentation at the big Apple WWDC thing (eagerly awaiting word of the new stuff from Apple that I can’t afford) and it’s always slightly disappointing. I always expect him to show off Apple’s life-sized, fully functional starship Enterprise. What’d we get? iPhone3G! Screw that.. gimme a transporter room and stuff so I can cruise the universe lookin’ for hot alien chicks.

Speaking of hotties, my comedy pal Carla Rhodes is in the current issue of Penthouse. It’s very tastefully done and she really doesn’t show off anything but cleavage.. but still.. it’s the first time any of my comedy buddies has appeared in that fine publication, so I think it’s pretty cool. Go to NashvilleStandUp.com to check it out.

COMEDY CRAP UPDATES:

- TONIGHT / Wed 6/11 @ Zanies w/ Tim Wilson. showtime @ 7:30pm, but get there early for good seats. Sorry for the late notice, they just asked me to do this show this morning.

- TOMORROW / Thurs 6/12 @ 7:30pm Central, NBC will air the new episode of “Last Comic Standing” featuring the Nashville auditions shot at Zanies on March 3rd. Yes, LCS will once again reduce Nashville’s comedy scene (and stand-up comedy in general) to a montage of shirtless redneck caricatures, Sassy Southern Grannies Who Tell It Like It Is, and other clueless goofballs in costumes who’ve never performed comedy but want to “git own tha tee-veee.” Mixed in there somewhere (hopefully) will be some of the professional and up-and-coming comics from the region who auditioned that day. Who knows. Right off the bat, the first episode started off with a guy in a chicken suit.. so expectations are LOW for this season. At the end of last weeks episode, they promo’d tomorrows episode and I could be seen running up onto the stage.. SO, now I’m really scared that I’ll be on the show and they’ll make me look like an even bigger ass-hat than I really am. I know for a fact that my buddies Dale Jones and Mary Mack will be all over the episode, so let me encourage you to watch just to see them.

- TOMORROW / Thurs 6/12@ Jesse Zane’s Nashville Nights @9pm. Just $3 cover. I’m headlining this, but the rest of the line-up is well worth going out to see this show, regardless – Damian Anaya, Tommy Joyce, Joe Southards, Brad Edwards, Monty Mitchell, ‘D’ White.. it’s gonna be a lot of fun. 308 Church Street (next to Printer’s Alley) – 615-242-9773. Set your TiVo to record Last Comic and bring your booty out to see me live at Jesse Zane’s. If you go, somehow work the Smurfs into conversation with me and I’ll buy you a beer.

- Mon, June 16 @ Zanies w/ Mike Birbiglia. 7:30pm. There is a completely unfounded rumor floating around that some of the other comics from the Bonnaroo comedy tent might drop by to do a set. Let me repeat: that is a completely unfounded and probably false rumor. Regardless, it’s gonna be an awesome show. Buy tickets now, it will sell out before this week is over.

- June 18, 19, 22 @ Zanies w/ “Uncle Lar” Larry Reeb & Tom Rhodes. Funny guys, as heard on the Bob and Tom Radio show. Plus me! Wooo.

Then in July I drive off to do a run of shows in the Carolinas and on a few beaches. I HATE the beach, but Laura and Callia enjoy fun in the sun so I book this every year for them. It’s all about The Ladies.

That’s it. Give me a yell and tell me what’s going on with you.. or sign up for Twitter and add me there. (it’s easy and awesome and not all gay like MySpace) I’m at http://www.Twitter.com/ChadRiden

if you get a chance to come out to any of these shows, please bring me Pokemon cards. I use ‘em to pay off the neighborhood kids to do my revolutionary dirty work for me.

The Hardest Working Man In No Business,
Chad Riden