• I’m equal parts proud and pissed off about how much Callia likes and relates to ‘Matilda’. She’s watching it for the third time in a week. #
• RT @Anundson Nuns gone wild. Really? // You and I were the only ones in the room who’d ever seen that before. It’s so old it’s new again. #
• Just watched video from the show on Monday. Why didn’t anyone tell me I was so f’n fat?! omg errbody. I gotta lose weight. After this pizza. #
• Happy birthday to @TomGreenLive and my brother Swafford! Drink a drink, errbody. in reply to tomgreenlive #
• This totally snuck up on me.. When did the youth make grown-out Bieber-esque comb-overs cool? WTF, pop culture. #
• There are few sights as sad as a nerd separated from his laptop. I’ve never felt so naked and alone. #

• Callia says, “Puppets are weird and I don’t like them. They always say stuff and want you to say things back, but they’re not alive. Weird.” #
• I am currently booking dates for my new show called “The Arbitrary Adjective And/Or Ethnic Marketing Angle Of Comedy Tour” – watch for it. #
• I want to die of natural causes. I’m assuming you consider massive amounts of drugs and alcohol and hookers to be totally natural, as I do. #
• Shut the door! I don’t want any of these houseflies to get out. #
• After a long battle with an infected hangnail, Chad Riden died this morning at 3:16 am. He is survived by one daughter and a mangy dog. #
• Riden’s current understudy will continue to perform the act as a tribute and salute to the ‘Chad Riden’ brand of half-baked/assed comedy. #
• Monetary donations in Riden’s honor can be sent to: Chad Riden’s Address; Nashville, TN.. or paypal chad (at) chadriden (dot) com. #
• Incredible. // RT @TheInDecider Sarah Palin Lays Blame for the BP Oil Spill Where It Belongs, on Environmentalists http://bit.ly/9izJV8 #
• RT @bdonahueweedman: @ChadRiden what happened? You okay? // Chad died, his understudy (me) was promoted to be the “new” full time Chad. #
• thanks, almost forgot about that one // @BillyWayneDavis favorited a YouTube video – Dirk Schmeltzer: Desk Cop http://youtu.be/9mJmk-q2Ybo?a #
  
• I’d like to see more links to things that are Awesome and NO MORE “ironic” links to things that Suck. Promote things worth promoting. #
• I wish this broad would turn the volume up louder so I could better hear every keypress as she bangs out text messages. Her first phone? #
• @themightychuck No, YOU’RE funny #ff in reply to themightychuck #
• “The Truth is hack.” – @PattonOswalt, as told by @MarcMaron on the fantastic @WTFpod #

• I thought about finally watching LOST.. or I could spend 120+ hours doing anything productive.. or I could spend that time being a jackass. #
• I’ve heard “boycot BP” but maybe we should be more proactive about the response to the oil spill and start torching all BP gas stations. #
• Ok, maybe torching BP stations is too much. Just go in, grab a pint of engine oil and sling it all over. Tell em you’ll stop it in a month #
• Callia and I made a video: “I am furious! – quality father-daughter time in the car” http://tinyurl.com/iamfurious #

With much fanfare, Nashville-based dreamily-named website, “Dream Row” announced me as the winner of their recent comedy video contest. Here’s what they had to say about my “Jackass picks up roadkill deer off the interstate” video:

“Winner for the comedy contest.”

Isn’t that awesome!? OMG, that’s going straight into my bio. Such kind words! Such praise! Such apathy! What an honor. Read more about their contest over at DreamRow.com.

They also interviewed me a while back about getting started in comedy, NashvilleStandUp.com and the Nashville comedy scene in general. Read “Standing Up For Local Comedy” over on Dream Row.

Here’s that video that won their contest:

“America’s Favorite Comedian Of All Time” Chad Riden and adorable child sensation Callia Riden have quality father – daughter time in the car:

The same crap is also up at FunnyOrDie.