NashvilleComedy.com

RT @ mostlycomedy Hey, the best of season one is up, featuring clips with @ PFTompkins, @ chadriden, & @ andysasshole http://mostlycomedy.com # ever want to see me be killed? watch "Death By Death" – http://ping.fm/gCOv6 # doing a show in Champaign, IL tonight – I know nobody in the area. Do you? http://ping.fm/vD8Ue # [...]

If you can’t trust “the Juggalos,” WHO CAN YOU TRUST!? Of course, if I could throw piss-filled balloons at Tila Tequila, I probably would. # http://ping.fm/Bcwzl – I just got my Power Chair Scooter for FREE! Thanks Medicare! Get yours today from TheScooterStore.com # Everyone has the equal right to believe whatever they want.. and I believe that everyones beliefs [...]

In short, “Go fuck yourself.” Originally this was directed to one person who was blowing up facebook talking shit, totally unprovoked. I’ve since removed the references to that one specific talentless, hacky, derivative, delusional moron to reinforce the reason this kind of thing is so frustrating: this happens all the time. Clueless, entitled twats are everywhere.. [...]

RT @ JesseIsTerrific I used to do a podcast w/ @ Anundson @ChadRiden @ seanparrott & @ BRADBRADBRAD. A lot of it was funny: http://bit.ly/bLIuyQ # RT @ Anundson @JesseIsTerrific we still have to do episode 50 // Tell me when, gents. My hootie-scoodle is oiled up and ready to go. # @pattonoswalt @kylekinane @ nsup meant to say Cookeville has chain restaurants. Also, Prince’s [...]

This just in! Kanye West twittered something CRAAAAZY! (fart) # thanks to the team at Riden Auto, I now have a car fueled by the urine of the homeless. # ladies, “that’s what HE said” is NOT necessarily interchangeable with “that’s what SHE said” # thatswhatHEsaid # “just the tip” # thatswhatHEsaid # True, “everything happens for a reason” – but sometimes that reason is “because [...]

I’m equal parts proud and pissed off about how much Callia likes and relates to ‘Matilda’. She’s watching it for the third time in a week. # RT @ Anundson Nuns gone wild. Really? // You and I were the only ones in the room who’d ever seen that before. It’s so old it’s new again. # Just watched video from [...]

Me: “You’re not listening to anything I say, so I’m going to stop talking.”Callia: “Finally.” #
Headlining at a seafood restaurant tonight. Career = awesome! (@ Shanti’s) http://4sq.com/9rqRWX #

Callia and I are the only gringos at my Mexican neighbors’ birthday bbq and it’s pretty awesome. More Petrone? Si, por favor! # RT @ NateWaltBills: @ comedynews love the site/twitter/i dunno what it is but its awesome // love you back. (“it” is @ ChadRiden+php+free time) # Consumer Fraud Alert! Wendy’s “boneless chicken wings” are nothing more than nuggets in wing sauce. # [...]

all my best stories are either pending court cases.. or can’t be told until the statute of limitations runs out.. or are totally forgotten. # Having kids in your house is like having an infestation of rats. They chew up your stuff, build little nests, are impossible to get rid of. # ..unless you set up traps and use rat [...]

Tonight @ zaniesnashville w/ tim northern & Chelsea Lately’s Josh Wolf -Call 615.269.0221 # I’m not SURE about this, but I *might* have driven a car down a stairwell last Thursday night in Knoxville. http://ping.fm/xDLQh # RT @ micahwhite RT @ DeadlineTV: Leno’s ‘Tonight Show’ Has Lowest Rated Quarter Since Letterman Went To CBS http://bit.ly/aHYmcT // ha ha ha! # Mel Gibson is about to get verbally [...]

RT @ reggiewatts A soul patch is as if Hitler’s mustache moved downstairs. // i call it “the inverted Hitler” # I’m busy all day today with the post-Father’s Day wrap-up paperwork. I have to make sure everyone gets proper credit for their efforts. # At Home Depot playing “Long Hair Dude? Or Flat Chested Hippie Chick?” (@ Home Depot) http://4sq.com/cd6Nnh # RT @ JesseIsTerrific [...]

RT @ sbellelauren …i want kids. where the hell am i supposed to get one of those? // I know a guy w/ a great selection at wholesale prices. # RT @ bdonahueweedman where? U didn’t give a name! // “Scratch” in Johnson City, TN. Thought foursquare would say that in the message. # I don’t want to brag, but MY God [...]

this is my favorite photo so far from the whole BP oil spill fiasco: http://ping.fm/ROXJj # someone just asked me if there are any stand-up open mic’s at Bonnaroo. Of course there are. Absolutely. See you there! # you know it’s a good meal when the aftermath looks like a pagan sacrifice took place. http://ping.fm/zg1Ut # Somebody just puked in the pool. Way to [...]

Callia says, “Puppets are weird and I don’t like them. They always say stuff and want you to say things back, but they’re not alive. Weird.” # I am currently booking dates for my new show called “The Arbitrary Adjective And/Or Ethnic Marketing Angle Of Comedy Tour” – watch for it. # I want to die of natural causes. I’m [...]

I thought about finally watching LOST.. or I could spend 120+ hours doing anything productive.. or I could spend that time being a jackass. # I’ve heard “boycot BP” but maybe we should be more proactive about the response to the oil spill and start torching all BP gas stations. # Ok, maybe torching BP stations is too much. Just [...]

With much fanfare, Nashville-based dreamily-named website, ” Dream Row ” announced me as the winner of their recent comedy video contest. Here’s what they had to say about my “Jackass picks up roadkill deer off the interstate” video: “Winner for the comedy contest.” Isn’t that awesome!? OMG, that’s going straight into my bio. Such kind words! Such [...]

“America’s Favorite Comedian Of All Time” Chad Riden and adorable child sensation Callia Riden have quality father – daughter time in the car:

The same crap is also up at FunnyOrDie.

the sensation of a tick crawling on your ass is unmistakable.. but you’re guaranteed to think you feel it again when you’re trying to sleep. # if I’m going to beat @ aplusk & @ britneyspears to 5 Million followers I think I’m going to need a good old “Colbert Bump” from @ StephenAtHome # This just in: all the tv networks announced [...]

I like to help people out however I can. When someone asks me to give ‘em a hand, I step up and get to work! ‘Cause I’m a people person. A do-er of things and stuff or whatever. In so many words, I get ‘er done. So when my local paper The Tennessean, sent me an [...]

Mohammad Draws Mohammad and gives the thumbs-up for “Everybody Draw Mohammad Day” …so… it’s totally ok now: